life goal #137: help build a teepee

Check that one off the list!

When making a to-do list, do you ever put something on the end like "Get out of bed" or "Wiggle toes four times" just so you can cross it off? If not, you should. It is extremely satisfying.

So this weekend I added and checked off a life goal; to help build a teepee. It was CYNH Alumni weekend and for our service project we helped out around Camp Allen. Camp Allen is a summer camp for children with disabilities. I guess they used to have a wheel chair accessible teepee that got knocked down during the wind storms this winter. So we helped build a new one. Without an instruction manual. :)

Here it is!

Why I don't protest.

Yesterday when I got to campus two strange things were happening. First, hovering above the small town were three black and angular military helicopters landing in the practice fields; unusually. Second, lining one side of the main street were protesters chanting a phrase that was garbled by the distance. I chose not to approach close enough to make out the cause for which they demonstrated. But today around campus I've noticed coffin shaped signs hanging on trees asking "Are we responsible for the actions of our government?" and the like. Are these events related, who knows? But it did get me pondering...

Whenever I see demonstrations of this sort I tend to walk the long way around. Even living in Flagstaff, I was too busy or too tired to take part in much activism. I thought this was because I was a shy person. Or even worse, I feared that I avoided protesting because I lacked conviction in my beliefs. I have a new idea.

I don't protest because the relationship with the living other is more important than any theory or cause or conviction (paraphrased from Nel Noddings' work). That is, building and maintaining relationships with other people is what really matters. I listen to someone speaking because I care about them and I wish to show that I care by considering their thoughts and opinions. However, the person shouting from the other side of the road does not care about me except as a mind to be influenced, manipulated. And I don't care about that person except that I wish to avoid them.

I do think that activism has a place. Organizing protests and demonstrations can bring people within a group closer together and it can spark dialogue between the people who care about each other enough to plan an event together. But my goal in organizing a demonstration is not change the minds of strangers (how aggressive!) but to build relationship and start dialogue with my co-organizers.

However, I hold this opinion loosely. Perhaps at times I am shy and cowardly when I choose not to join a cause I believe in. But at other times, I know that I am choosing to change the situation through care instead of combat.

the problem with blogs

...Is that I keep waiting post until I have something Profound to say. And you see how often that happens :) So I think I just need to jump in and post, if only for the sake of getting comfortable on my blog again.

Today I took a stroll through the Philosophy section of the library. One of the things I truly love about being back in school this year is that I can take a stroll through the library on a Wednesday afternoon! Anyway, while in the philosophy section I learned something important about myself: There are significant bodies of human thought that I will never be able to devote enough time to understand; and a lot of that work resides in the philosophy section.

I love considering philosophy as it applies to my life and I have come to respect many moral and education philosophers this year. However, I picked up several books during my stroll and got lost in the first sentence! To be fair, the same thing is equally likely to happen in the hard sciences section where I claim to feel at home. Too many books, too little time!

"How are you today?"

At work, I answer that question somewhere around 100 times in an eight hour shift. I really appreciate when people ask (oh yea, I'm a human too!) but I must admit that my answer is rarely true. Like the rest of America, I answer "Good." or, if I'm feeling grammatically correct "I'm doing well, and yourself?" Only in my darkest moments do I dare give even a neutral answer like "ok." So here is the real answer.

Today I feel tender. Like wearing tee-shirt during a snow storm, there is just not quite enough protection between me and the world. A smile or a nice email makes me ecstatic. Meanwhile, a harsh comment or even a passage in my textbook on a particular failure of our education system brings me close to tears.

In some ways this tenderness is freeing. I just am, me, no bulky sweaters weighing me down. On the other hand, I do get rather cold...

Replanting Grow Slow

Although the rain is falling and the temperatures are low in New England, I have been assured that it is indeed spring. And what better time to restart a failing blog than planting season!

I do not promise to write everyday. I do not promise to document all of my doings. But I do promise to share more of my thoughts here in the hope of sparking new conversations. The purpose of this blog shall henceforth be to share ideas and engage in conversation...even if I am just talking to myself.

I'm happy...

...just wanted to share. I feel like I'm living in one of the rare moments where I am doing what I want to do, and realize it, and I realize that I realized it and am enjoying that too. If that makes any sense outside my head!

So here's what I'm up to...I am taking classes at the University of New Hampshire toward a Master's degree in Education. It took me a while to get back into the swing of doing homework, reading for class, studying for exams, etc. but I'm back and finding classes very enjoyable. Some professors are still frustrating and some lectures are still boring but I'm enjoying all those things are part of the experience.

I also have a job at Starbucks. Yep, I'm a barista! Believe it or not, this is my first "real" job...like one where I have to check a schedule, request days off, etc., etc. The first couple days were a little rough but I've almost got the hang of it now. Plus it is really good for my little introverted people skills.

And to top it all off, it's fall and there is pumpkin ice cream!

I've decided to make a list...

Some ways City Year/New Hampshire have changed my life:

1) I make lists. (This is really only funny if you knew me in college and in particular if you were one of my roommates who I mocked for making lists...i love you :) )

2) I no longer have a desire, nor even the ability, to lie around for days. In fact, the idea of only taking classes for this next year scares me. I'm going to be so bored! (Feel free to mock me later if I complain about being too busy).

3) New Hampshire feels like home. New Mexico seemed weird.

4) I appreciate good planning and leadership sooooooooo much. My summer job had neither. It was a bit painful.

5) I'm in the process of re-learning how to spend time by myself. That's a good thing...

6) I have developed an (I fear) permanent dislike for khaki pants. Seriously, I had a spasm when my Mom held up a pair in the store. I'm still okay with the color red though...