There comes a time after every milestone (such as college graduation) when things start to change. I've managed to postpone this eventuality quite successfully, if I do say so myself. But even I, with my avoidance and denial, have to face the music.
I am very mixed up in my emotions, which makes this all the harder to sort out. I am excited about moving to New Hampshire to do Americorp for a year. I am looking forward to meeting new people, having new experiences, and putting my beliefs to the test to see how they stand up in the "real" world. But I am also sad. Deeply sad to leave this town and these people. That is hard for me to express, but somehow it is down there. I feel like I have grown so much here, like I have come to life. I would like to turn this sadness into celebration for all the wonderful things that have happened. I would like to be dancing when I leave town.
Today we had evening prayer like we have been doing for most of the summer. We practiced Lectio Divina or Holy Reading which is something that I have read about but never tried. We read Psalm 139, each of us read it out loud twice with periods of silence for meditation. The idea is to be present. To be present to the words, to be present to each other, to be present to ourselves, and to be present to God. Honestly, I found the last two the hardest. The best way I have to describe this "being present" is kything from Madeline L'Engle's Wrinkle in Time trilogy. If you haven't read these, stop reading this blog and find a copy. Kything with each other and kything with God are both beautiful images to me.
Psalm 139: 9-10
If I take the wings of the morning
and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me fast.
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1 comment:
gasp...you are amazing.
glad you found me :-)
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